My Journey to Self Discovery: Autistic and Hard of Hearing

From the perspective of our very own, Dr. Jessica Hogan

Often, I am reminded of the intricate web that makes up my identity—a tapestry woven with threads of autism and being hard of hearing. The journey to understanding and accepting this intersection has been anything but straightforward. It's a story of challenges, triumphs, and the relentless pursuit of advocacy.

Growing up, I always felt a little different. Social interactions were a puzzle I struggled to solve, and the cacophony of sounds around me often felt overwhelming. It wasn't until much later in life that I began to connect the dots, realizing that my experiences were shaped by more than just one aspect of my identity.

Step One: Duplicity

The first step in my journey to diagnosis was acknowledging the unique challenges I faced as someone who is both autistic and hard of hearing. It wasn't just about fitting into one box or the other; it was about recognizing the intersectionality of my identity and how each aspect influenced the other.

One of the most significant challenges I encountered was the masking effect of my hearing difficulties on autistic traits. As someone who relies heavily on lip-reading and facial expressions to understand others, I often found myself struggling to navigate social situations. What others might perceive as aloofness or disinterest was, in reality, a coping mechanism born out of necessity.

STEP TWO: Community

Advocacy became my guiding light in navigating this complex journey. I realized that raising awareness about the intersection of autism and being hard of hearing was not just about educating others—it was about advocating for myself and others like me. It meant dispelling misconceptions, encouraging early identification, and promoting a more nuanced understanding of neurodiversity.

Building supportive communities was another crucial aspect of my journey. Finding spaces where I could share my experiences, seek advice, and connect with others who understood what I was going through became essential for my mental well-being. These communities provided the empathy and understanding that I often struggled to find in mainstream narratives.

STEP Three: Challenge

But perhaps the most significant revelation came when I began to understand the impact of my hearing difficulties on my daily life. Simple tasks like playing a game of Trivial Pursuit with family members became a source of both joy and anxiety. The quiet environment allowed me to relax and engage without the added pressure of struggling to hear and understand.

Eye contact, a seemingly mundane aspect of social interaction, became a source of stress and discomfort. The effort required to maintain eye contact while simultaneously processing auditory information was draining, leaving me feeling exhausted and overwhelmed.

Removing my hearing aids in certain situations brought a sense of relief, as the world quieted down, and I could finally find solace in the calm. But it also came with its own set of challenges, as the absence of external sounds often exacerbated my tinnitus, creating a catch-22 situation.

Navigating romantic relationships as someone who is hard of hearing presented its own unique set of challenges. From repeating things multiple times to relying on partners to act as intermediaries in social situations, it required a level of understanding and patience that not everyone possessed. Add autism into that equation, it’s not the easiest thing.

Finally, it clicks.

Despite the challenges, my journey to diagnosis has been a journey of self-discovery and acceptance. It's a celebration of neurodiversity—a recognition that my identity is not defined by the labels society imposes but by the richness of my experiences and the depth of my resilience.

As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the importance of advocating for understanding and acceptance. It's about creating a world where individuals at the intersection of being autistic and hard of hearing are valued and supported, where their voices are heard and their experiences are validated.

In embracing the complexities of my identity, I have found strength, resilience, and a sense of belonging. My journey to diagnosis has been anything but easy, but it has also been profoundly rewarding. It's a journey that continues to evolve, shaping me into the person I am today—one who is unapologetically autistic, hard of hearing, and fiercely proud of both.

If you think you are Autistic, we would love to speak to you about Autism Evaluations. Contact us today.