When the Boss Gets Bullied: What Happens When a ND Boss Gets Bullied by Neurotypical Employees
Disclaimers:
Land Acknowledgment: We live and work on the unseated territories of the Wahpekute and Chumash peoples, we pay respects to their elders past and present. We encourage folks to explore the ancestral lands they live and work on, and to learn about the Native communities that live there, the treaties that have been broken. If folks feel called, we encourage them to consider taking actions to support Native communities, reparations, and land back movements (see other resources at the end for more info).
A note on language: The language in the DSM, including the use of the word disorder (D in acronym), some find this harmful, while others prefer the language “disorder.” When this language is used, it is because, as mental health professionals, we need to use this same language when referring to “diagnoses” in the DSM. In addition some Autistics find the use of the level system helpful in identifying the level of support needed, while others view it as an overly simplistic way of defining something that’s fluid, and may feel it’s harmful and minimizing. The beauty is that each individual gets to choose what language feels validating and affirming to them. Inspired by Dr. Jennifer Mullan, we use the term, “therapy participant” rather than “client” or “patient,” as we work toward decolonizing therapy.
Educational Purposes: The information presented here is for educational purposes, and not meant to diagnose, treat or cure medical conditions or challenges, including neurodivergence (including mental health challenges), or physical health.
Going along with our blog series on neuroinclusive workplaces and being a neurodivergent (ND) boss, today we’re going to be discussing the experience of ND bosses who have been or are currently being bullied by their neurotypical (NT) employees. Finding resources on this specific topic is nearly nonexistent, not because this doesn’t occur, but because it is an understudied area that appears to be a bit niche at this moment. However, we hope to change this by adding one clear resource for neurodivergent bosses in similar situations to refer to. We also hope that in the coming years, research on the experiences of Autistic professionals will be more thoroughly explored, leading to a broader and more inclusive understanding.
To begin, it’s noteworthy that we discuss the ways in which neurodiversity has been misunderstood, as this contributes to misconceptions and stigmatizing views held toward ND folks. Simply put, neurodiversity explains how everyone’s brains are wired differently. It is this difference in one’s brain wiring that in turn impacts the ways in which each individual experiences the world, processes information, and communicates (i.e. each person has their own unique experiences and interactions). This means there is variation in how people problem solve, collaborate, and interact with others. In addition to cognitive differences, individuals also have varying sensory preferences and experiences that shape the brain’s wiring.
While neurodivergent folks might have stronger or more defined sensory preferences, these preferences are not exclusive to them. For instance, many NT people prefer working in quieter, less distracting work environments. This is reflected in the rise in work from home/remote positions, particularly after the COVID-19 pandemic, which found remote work to be an effective means for many. Research has supported this notion, as many employees are in fact more productive and engaged when they are able to work in a setting that meets their sensory needs (i.e. work from home, quiet office space, etc.). Keeping this simple definition in mind, when thinking of the workplace—every workplace is technically neurodiverse as no two individual’s brains are the same. Understanding neurodiversity is crucial in the workplace—to combat misconceptions surrounding neurodiversity and to understand its impacts on interactions, communication, and individual experiences.
Neurodivergence as a Strength
Next, we want to address misconceptions surrounding neurodivergence (especially with regards to ND professionals) that are rooted in implicit ableism, as these stigmatizing views could be related to the bullying experienced by ND bosses. For example, many people believe that ND individuals can’t be leaders, and those who are successful leaders tend to be explained away as being exceptions. This example of implicit ableism assumes that ND individuals can only occupy subordinate positions or that the full range of jobs available are unsuitable. However, research has consistently shown that Autistic professionals can be up to 140% more productive than NT employees and are often associated with more original ideas, among other positive traits (Coupé, 2023; Praslova, 2021). It’s important to note, we don’t cite this 140% figure to reduce the value of Autistic workers to an efficiency statistic or to unfairly compare the workloads of NT and ND employees (Coupé, 2023; Praslova, 2021). Rather, we highlight this statistic to challenge the misconceptions and stigmatization that continue to surround ND professionals, demonstrating that not only are Autistic employees highly qualified—they are in fact often overqualified for the roles they occupy.
Now that we have discussed some of the misconceptions and stigmatizing views held toward ND individuals and professionals in the workplace, we will next turn our attention to the notion of upward bullying, which will help explain the occurrence of bosses being bullied.
Upward Bullying
Typically, when you think about bullying you picture the aggressor as being in a position of power or authority over the victim. With upward bullying however, this occurs when a boss or manager is bullied by their subordinates, or those who report to them. This form of bullying is either not as widely known or has largely been ignored in discussions of bullying, though it is just as harmful as other forms of bullying.
What is Upward Bullying and How Does it Present in the Workplace? Upward bullying tends to start with less overt behaviors such as withholding or misleading information, subtle gaslighting, or ignoring directives. The aggressor might try to discredit or disrupt the authority of their boss, escalating their bullying to include spreading rumors, circumventing, and/or insubordination—all of which seek to further undermine the victim and their leadership. In some cases, the bullying may be enabled or overlooked by other employees or even higher management, which can complicate the situation even more.
Further Examples of Upward Bullying:
Threats, intimidation, or physical aggression
Repeated complaints without cause
Behaviors that seek to sabotage or overwhelm such as critiquing, debating, or questioning
Overtly harmful behaviors like being mean, offensive, argumentative
Spreading rumors, gossip, or lies
With respect to factors that might contribute to NT employees engaging in upward bullying toward their ND boss, there are a few other factors (i.e. in addition to misunderstanding/stigma surrounding neurodivergence) to consider. For example, it is reasonable to assume that employees who are experiencing work difficulties (i.e. new to the company; stressed with demands of the job; was reprimanded in the past; or those who think they are better/more knowledgeable than their boss) might be more likely or more vulnerable to partaking in bullying. In terms of the work environment, factors that might influence employee engagement in upward bullying might include an environment that is not inclusive, particularly neuroinclusive; lack of diversity; and/or an overall environment that fosters competition or other negative behaviors.
If You’re a ND Boss Experiencing Bullying, Here are a Few Things to Keep in Mind—
Recognize your feelings but separate yourself from the bullying: It’s natural to feel shame or inadequacy if you’re struggling to manage your employees, especially if you’re experiencing bullying. However, it’s crucial to understand that another person’s harmful behavior is not a reflection of your leadership, your abilities, or your worth as a boss. Bullying is about the aggressor’s issues, not about your effectiveness or leadership.
Don’t isolate yourself: If you’re experiencing bullying at work, it’s understandable that you would want to distance yourself (or the opposite of filling your plate too much to avoid)—whether that’s by taking time off or overloading your schedule with work to distract yourself from the issue. However, avoidance and isolation often worsen the situation. During this time, lean on trusted friends, family, or colleagues for support. Speaking openly with someone can help you process the situation, gain perspective, and to resist believing the untrue, hurtful things the aggressor has said.
Seek professional help, if needed: In addition to your personal support system, consider seeking professional help, such as a therapist or counselor, to help navigate the emotional toll of the upward bullying, if needed. Talking to a professional can help provide clarity, emotional relief, and a concrete plan for moving forward. It can also be useful to gain a new perspective from someone outside of those affected from the bullying.
Document everything: Be sure to document every instance of bullying or harmful behavior, including dates, times, and specific details of the interactions. Keeping a record will be invaluable if the situation escalates, and it can protect you from being gaslit or having your claims dismissed.
Address the behavior: It’s important to confront the bullying behavior directly when possible. Allowing it to continue without intervention can harm not only you as a boss, but also your team. When addressing the behavior, it’s up to you and your company policies whether to take disciplinary action or let the individual go, depending on the severity and recurrence of the bullying. At the end of the day, you are the boss and no one should have to deal with a toxic work environment.
Foster a healthy workplace: If an employee is bullying you, it may indicate a larger problem within your workplace culture that tolerates or allows such behavior to occur. Moving forward, it’s essential to work toward fostering an inclusive and respectful work environment. A culture that values transparency, accountability, and mutual respect helps prevent toxic behaviors from taking root and impacting the workplace.
In summary, there is a notable gap in research and literature regarding the experiences of neurodivergent bosses who are bullied by their neurotypical employees. While neurodiversity is still an underexplored area in general, the specific challenges faced by Autistic professionals in leadership roles remain particularly overlooked. This gap often contributes to misunderstandings and biases that can fuel bullying behaviors in the workplace. In this discussion, we aimed to address the misconceptions/stigma associated with neurodivergence and explored the concept of upward bullying—where bosses are targeted by their employees. We concluded by offering neurodivergent bosses’ practical advice and reminders for handling bullying, as well as outlining next steps to take if they find themselves in this difficult situation.
Please feel free to leave us a comment below if you have other suggestions or topics you would like to see us cover on our blog. And, if you are a neurodivergent professional experiencing bullying, harassment, or other toxic workplace encounters—or if you’d just like the support of other neurodivergent professionals—you can connect with one of our incredible clinicians!
Land acknowledgement Resources: Support starts with educating yourself about history, and being willing to sit with uncomfortable truths. It can then include things like: learning about cultural appropriation, and commit to not engaging in and perpetuating cultural appropriation; committing to calling people in to conversations; educating others, honoring Native folks on holidays such as Indigenous People’s Day, considering the implications of celebrating holidays such as Thanksgiving, or the Fourth of July; making land acknowledgements, (to find out whose land you’re on, head here), having conversations with people about what you learn; financial support; uplifting and amplifying Native voices and stories; understanding and supporting Land Back efforts; researching and supporting Native causes, including supporting and advocating Native-led for legislation changes. Some options for financial support of Native communities on Wahpekute land are here, here, here, here, here or here; Chumash land here; National.
References:
Best, C., Arora, S., Porter, F. et al. (2015). The relationship between subthreshold autistic traits, ambiguous figure perception and divergent thinking. Journal of Autism and Developmental Disorders. 45, 4064–4073. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10803-015-2518-2
Carlson, K. (2023). What if my neurodiverse boss sucks with people? https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/what-my-neurodiverse-boss-sucks-people-ken-carlson-pcc-cpcc
Coupé, C. (2023). Neurodiversity as a superpower. Organization for Autism Research. https://researchautism.org/oaracle-newsletter/neurodiversity-as-a-super-power/#:~:text=Results%20from%20JPMorgan%20Chase%20have,productive%20than%20their%20neurotypical%20peers.
Gonzales, M. (2023). Autistic workers often avoid disclosing their condition to HR. SHRM. https://www.shrm.org/topics-tools/news/inclusion-diversity/autistic-workers-often-avoid-disclosing-condition-to-hr-heres#:~:text=Reports%20have%20shown%20that%20autistic%20professionals%20can,autism%E2%80%94when%20they%20are%20properly%20matched%20to%20jobs.&text=The%20auticon%20survey%20also%20revealed%20that%2085,can%20be%20their%20authentic%20selves%20at%20work.
Hart, S. (2023). Can we get past the 140% stat for autism in the workplace? Medium. https://medium.com/illumination/can-we-get-past-the-140-stat-for-autism-in-the-workplace-1fa42385eb88
(n.d.). Top workplace accommodations for employees with Autism Spectrum Disorder. AbsenceSoft. https://absencesoft.com/resources/top-accommodations-for-employees-with-autism/#:~:text=High%20Productivity,very%20useful%20for%20neurodiverse%20employees.
Thompson, E. (2024). Why neurodiversity is misunderstood in the workplace. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/a-hidden-force/202406/why-neurodiversity-is-misunderstood-in-the-workplace
Praslova, L. (2021). Neurodivergent people make great leaders, not just employees. Fast Company. https://www.fastcompany.com/90706149/neurodivergent-people-make-great-leaders-not-just-employees
PSHRA. (2021). The boss as a target: Recognizing and stopping upward bullying. Public Sector HR Association. https://pshra.org/the-boss-as-a-target-recognizing-and-stopping-upward-bullying/
